The Blame Game

Don’t blame me

Cult directionsIts that word blame and why do we do that?  Has something been wired into our DNA (lol!) that finds people spontaneously defending an action, or even a sentence that conflicts with something or someone else?

Yet we’re often convinced that we’re ‘in the right’ aren’t we?  To the point where we forget to question the issue more objectively … but how so.

Is it that we just don’t want to look any closer to home or examine how our actions and behaviours affect others?  Is it that we’re so convinced that we’re always right?

Does the blame culture rely on the human being’s ability to behave in a ‘pack’ mentality?  We often do.  As a simple example just think of a TV programme like X-Factor and its voting system.  The weakest link (as it were) is hounded out based on their performance, outer attraction or personality.

But we all do it, don’t we and if we’re wired that way its perhaps part of our survival mechanism.  But as mentioned we are human beings 🙂 … and have been afforded the ability to think.  But how and what we think inwardly lie at the core of how we behave outwardly, and doesn’t the quality of this result in our ability to contribute.

So does blaming others really help other people or ourselves?

Responsibility and Accountability

Although I’d understood the need for taking responsibility in my late teens/early twenties, it took much longer to actualize it in all of life’s compartments, and the last ones were probably the hardest to even realise.

And now I work in the wonderful world of change and people, I’m fairly certain that my vocation, for want of a better word, has been thoroughly informed and contributed to by my past.

Do I ever fluff up – of course I do – I’ve even come to realise that by ‘sticking your neck out’ and standing up to be counted can by its very nature result in not getting it right every time.  Do I try to make amends, mostly I do and when I don’t its usually because it appears futile, am I fallible of course I am, aren’t we all?

Blame it on me

And blame is a futile game.  It keeps us safe and allows us to keep reinforcing unhelpful ideas, values, beliefs, thoughts and behaviours, especially when we surround ourselves with like-minded and push away those who offer difference, albeit their ideas, culture, background or class.

Let’s bring on difference, let’s enjoy it for its own sake.  As much as anything its a great way of testing whether our beliefs are true or falsely held.

Playing the Blame Game

After all isn’t blame what children do as they stand awkwardly on the spot hoping the adult won’t call them on something they’ve done that they know they shouldn’t have.   We learn lots of things as children that keep us protected for the vulnerable phase of childhood when there’s masses of fast-growth and development.  But at the same time lots of it is best un-learned as we prepare to take to a ‘road less traveled’ that we call adult life.  Especially if we want to live proper grown-up lives, in a world where we can even pick up on the help of a stranger.

What do you think about ‘the blame culture’ vs ‘being responsible and accountable’ to yourself?

What next

Do you ever find yourself pointing the finger and blaming others for the current ‘state of your life’?  If you do you might be tired of going round in circles on that hamster-wheel and maybe you’re ready to become free from wherever those feelings originated, so that you can get on with living your life now.

Tell me more …

If you’d like to learn more you’re welcome to an ‘introductory chat’ – see how to kick-start the process – all sessions are ‘private and confidential.

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Creative Commons License photo credit: kevindooley

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